Hello and welcome to Life Without Rodri, a real-time existential play involving an association football club called Manchester City. They will be without the world’s most influential player (arguably, but I don’t want an argument so channel it elsewhere please) for the rest of the season, starting today with an awkward trip to St James’ Park. Have the popcorn/kale chips at the ready.

Kick-off: 12.30pm BST

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