Acknowledging your disappointment, rage or despair is a gift to yourself. This truth is the foundation from which a better life might grow

Once you notice it, you feel it everywhere. This relentless, suffocating exhortation to be happier, to improve yourself, to get better – to build a better life. It might come from your parents, it almost certainly comes from the Instagram accounts you follow, you might even assume it comes from these columns. Most potently of all, it likely comes from your own mind.

It might sound obvious, but I’m not sure it really is, so I will say it: there are times when life feels very difficult, painful and overwhelming. When things go wrong, when things go right but that feels even worse, when the washing machine leaks and jobs are lost and homes are lost and people are lost and and and … when it takes all your energy just to survive. When telling yourself that you need to be building a better life is not only exhausting but cruel.