Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!

Tottenham get a lot of stick. Even the most hardened Spurs fan, mate, would agree they deserve a fair bit of it. But if you strip back the jokes, the commemorative DVD and T-shirt to celebrate a 1-0 league win over Chelsea in November 2006 (“If you missed it, here is your chance to see what all the fuss is about!”), the websites dedicated to documenting how long it’s been since they last won a trophy, the concept of a cheese room, Richarlison’s back tattoos and getting mugged off by Dulux, there is a very likable club there. The big issue for Spurs is that they just can’t seem to get over the line when it matters. Of course, it’s a fine margin between victory and defeat; just ask Hugo Lloris, France’s World Cup-winning captain.

With respect to football miracle comparisons (Tuesday’s Football Daily), please forgive my pedantry when I point out that Leicester ‘did a Nottingham Forest’ (remember Brian Clough?). So if Forest ‘do a Leicester’ they will actually be ‘doing a Forest’. And ‘doing a Forest’ is better than ‘doing a Leicester’ because ‘doing a Forest’ involves going on to subsequent back-to-back Big Cup successes, whereas ‘doing a Leicester’ involves subsequent relegation” – Mark Brookes (and others).

If you’d like to hear what ‘a straight-to-ITVX buddy-cop drama (with Eddie Howe as the increasingly exasperated police chief)’ would sound like (yesterday’s Football Daily), I’d direct you to back episodes of Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson’s excellent Athletico Mince podcast, which features script read-throughs of Geordie Heat, a police procedural with DCI Howe and his crack squad of Tyneside heroes solving the big problems faced by their community (mostly Mr Sting from the massive house with the massive gates). In Eddie’s words, I wish you all the best in your future [effin’] endeavours” – Jon Gerrard.

The mention in yesterday’s Football Daily of picking a forward to convert a chance to save your life reminds me of the great Aussie rules commentator Dennis Cometti. When a co-commentator spoke in exactly those terms about an in-form player, Dennis said, if he had to pick someone to kick a goal to save his life, he’d pick his mum. After a pause he added: ‘She’s not much of a kicker, but at least she’d care’” – Chris Mackenzie Davey.

Continue reading...