Lacey Chabert falls for a snowman with abs in streamer’s latest cheap, cheerful foray into Hallmark territory

Though I am personally of the belief that all Christmas movies should wait until after Thanksgiving – it just stopped being 80F (26C) in New York City last week, yikes – I cannot fault a movie for being exactly what it sets out to be. The trailer for Hot Frosty, Netflix’s newest foray into Hallmark’s holiday territory, promised to answer the question no one was asking: what if Frosty the Snowman had abs?

Curious minds do, in fact, want to know. Thankfully, the actual finished product, 90 minutes of extremely unserious, occasionally sweet fluff written by Russell Hainline, delivers logistical and spiritual answers to the quandary of Half-Naked Alive Snowman with complete dedication to the genre. Said snowman, Jack (Dustin Milligan), awakens with barely a strategically placed scarf to cover him. The town of Hope Springs is even more of a New England (by way of Canada) mirage than Gilmore Girls’s Stars Hollow. The snow is obviously styrofoam. All the old women are horny. Also, Chrishell Stause lives there. Merry Christmas!