Readers respond to Simon Jenkins’ piece about wanting to be told about our remaining time

Simon Jenkins’ article about Chris Hoy was upsetting (Could we all be as positive as Chris Hoy facing death? Perhaps knowing when we will go changes everything, 21 October). As someone who has experienced the emotional devastation of being given a terminal diagnosis for our little girl, I can assure Jenkins that there is no comfort in “knowing when”. We had six months.

What a terminal diagnosis does is destroy hope, and grief starts before the end. Yes, when the shock subsides, we realise we have no option but to choose to make the best of the available time, but if Jenkins can’t imagine the rage, depression, grief, unfairness of being told your remaining time, or loved one’s time, has been cut short, he shouldn’t be writing about this. Hoy referencing “genuine moments of joy” is through this lens: that joy is amplified every time you feel it, because you cherish it more than you might have. That amplification is balanced by equal or greater pain – do not doubt it.