Lifestyle editor Alyx Gorman road-tests a new wave of personal massage devices. But do experts think they live up to their hype?

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“Please close your eyes, relax and enjoy,” I am instructed in a robotic American accent just before the loud mechanical whirrings commence. Next to me in bed, not for the first time, my husband complains it sounds awful.

I feel bad for him, but not too bad. I am too busy closing my eyes, relaxing and enjoying “air pressure plus heat” rolling and pulsating over my orbital bones. For the next 15 minutes I am subjected to simultaneous sensations of pleasure and torment: industrial fan sounds right against my ears, waves of heat and pressure right across my eyes. I melt into my pillow as the goggles hit my sore spot, pinching my left brow right where it wrinkles due to mild astigmatism. For the past few weeks, I have been doing this every night before sleep. But I am beginning to worry that my new toy, a Renpho eye massager, might send me blind.